I have
been asked now, by a number of people, what a civil celebrant does
that is different to a registrar or religious leader
I do not want to offend anyone by leaving religious belief at the door; I was married in Church, I am confirmed and my children were christened. I am also a realist and I am aware that the family dynamic is altering; that fewer people hold religious beliefs and that many ceremonies these days are secular.
Every element of a celebrant ceremony is designed to show the participants their role in the joining together of two people so that there is recall and a sense of collective responsibility for the happiness of the couple; the security and future of the child or the cherished memory of the person who has died.
Weddings
Handfasting ribbons
My
ceremonies are personal – no two are the same; they are hand
written and my aim is to distil the spirit of the couple that I am
marrying and present it to them and their guests as the finest
expression of love that they have for each other and a tangible
reminder of why they have chosen to spend their lives together.
Celebrant
weddings have to be ratified by a Registrar but they can take place
anywhere – we do not have to use licensed premises.
If I were to conduct a ceremony today, the couple would have the choice to marry in surroundings that are special to them, to be unconstrained by time or style of ceremony and they would have control of the words spoken and the rituals observed that signify union to them.
We use ancient Celtic traditions of hand fasting and broom jumping; we use Hebrew rituals of breaking glass. There are ceremonies involving light and colour that are uplifting and engaging and help to illustrate the union that they represent.
Naming Tree |
Naming Ceremonies
Naming
ceremonies are the chance for the parents, grandparents, mentors
or sponsors and selected guests to celebrate that young life and to
show their accountability to that child throughout life.
The
mentors/sponsors or trusted friends of the child in a naming ceremony
will read a verse, sing a song or perform a ritual to show everyone
their significance in the life of the child.
Parents, grandparents
and other important family and friends can be bound by a ribbon to
the child in a chain of collective love and protection. The child's
name and its' significance will be revealed and promises to guide and
support that child will be made by all those present.
Memory Stones |
Funerals
Funerals give me the chance to portray through words, poetry and music the character, the essence of the person who has died and to allow those who mourn to be caught up in remembering him with love and affection.
Funerals
are the one certainty in life – my favourite part of preparing a
funeral is the time spent with the family talking about “Fred”;
it is often teary and we drink quantities of tea but the process of
recall and the chance to talk honestly about “Fred” with a
comparative stranger is hugely cathartic. Most families open up
after a bit and we have a giggle and I write until my arm nearly
drops off and I come away with a jumble of funny stories, half
remembered anecdotes and a sense of who Fred was and and what he
meant to those who mourn him.
I
will then spend 4/5 hours writing his story – weaving in poetry and
music that gives comfort to those who attend his funeral. My aim is
for everyone to feel that Fred was with them, that they have learned
or recalled an aspect of Fred that is important and will make them
proud to be his mourner.
Funerals
in woodland or indeed in many churches and cremations in the smaller
and less hurried crematoria are the most rewarding part of a
celebrant's job.
Thank
you for reading this. The Country Celebrant
I really love your description of our work, you've really captured the essence of what makes the ceremonies so different and new. Xx
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