The Role of the Celebrant

I have been asked now, by a number of people, what a civil celebrant does that is different to a registrar or religious leader

I do not want to offend anyone by leaving religious belief at the door; I was married in Church, I am confirmed and my children were christened. I am also a realist and I am aware that the family dynamic is altering; that fewer people hold religious beliefs and that many ceremonies these days are secular.

Every element of a celebrant ceremony is designed to show the participants their role in the joining together of two people so that there is recall and a sense of collective responsibility for the happiness of the couple; the security and future of the child or the cherished memory of the person who has died.

Weddings

Handfasting ribbons

My ceremonies are personal – no two are the same; they are hand written and my aim is to distil the spirit of the couple that I am marrying and present it to them and their guests as the finest expression of love that they have for each other and a tangible reminder of why they have chosen to spend their lives together.

Celebrant weddings have to be ratified by a Registrar but they can take place anywhere – we do not have to use licensed premises.

If I were to conduct a ceremony today, the couple would have the choice to marry in surroundings that are special to them, to be unconstrained by time or style of ceremony and they would have control of the words spoken and the rituals observed that signify union to them.

We use ancient Celtic traditions of hand fasting and broom jumping; we use Hebrew rituals of breaking glass. There are ceremonies involving light and colour that are uplifting and engaging and help to illustrate the union that they represent.

Naming Tree

Naming Ceremonies

Naming ceremonies are the chance for the parents, grandparents, mentors or sponsors and selected guests to celebrate that young life and to show their accountability to that child throughout life.

The mentors/sponsors or trusted friends of the child in a naming ceremony will read a verse, sing a song or perform a ritual to show everyone their significance in the life of the child. 

Parents, grandparents and other important family and friends can be bound by a ribbon to the child in a chain of collective love and protection. The child's name and its' significance will be revealed and promises to guide and support that child will be made by all those present.

Memory Stones

Funerals

Funerals give me the chance to portray through words, poetry and music the character, the essence of the person who has died and to allow those who mourn to be caught up in remembering him with love and affection.

Funerals are the one certainty in life – my favourite part of preparing a funeral is the time spent with the family talking about “Fred”; it is often teary and we drink quantities of tea but the process of recall and the chance to talk honestly about “Fred” with a comparative stranger is hugely cathartic. Most families open up after a bit and we have a giggle and I write until my arm nearly drops off and I come away with a jumble of funny stories, half remembered anecdotes and a sense of who Fred was and and what he meant to those who mourn him.

I will then spend 4/5 hours writing his story – weaving in poetry and music that gives comfort to those who attend his funeral. My aim is for everyone to feel that Fred was with them, that they have learned or recalled an aspect of Fred that is important and will make them proud to be his mourner.

Funerals in woodland or indeed in many churches and cremations in the smaller and less hurried crematoria are the most rewarding part of a celebrant's job.

Thank you for reading this. The Country Celebrant