The Country Celebrant and The Country Carer

Winter is, hopefully, over and the wedding season is fast approaching. At the moment, those of us involved in weddings are invited to attend showcase events - glitzy affairs where outfitters, cake makers, planners and venues vie for business. The brides to be are schmoozed with bags of goodies, samples of this and that to whet their appetite and empty their pockets. Celebrants too are invited to attend these fairs and I wonder why?  You seldom meet a vicar or a registrar at a wedding fair. The vicar is safe in the knowledge that should a couple wish to be married in a specific church then he will get the gig. The registrar hides behind the legalities of a civil wedding - rolling out humdrum ceremonies in ghastly offices or worse still, fleecing couples for the same prosaic ceremony in a fancy location for an extortionate fee. Hand-fasting Ceremony The Celebrant has to work very hard at getting to know the couple they are working for, researching music and poetry tha...

The Country Celebrant: The Country Celebrant:   Christmas Weddings: I was asked today whether I had ever conducted a wedding at Christmas.  It got me thinking .... I never have and I wondered why that might be. What influences the choice of date?  Is it that we are most likely to have decent weather in the summer, or is that the choice of flowers and the comfort of a beautiful dress without the worry of being cold is uppermost in our minds? Christmas is a time for family and couples often get engaged at Christmas, but actually if your family are all around you anyway - why not get married then. I feel I posing more questions than I am answering; historically the short days of winter are a quiet time and what better way to spend a quiet time than celebrating your love for one another?  A wedding dress in sumptuous velvet, red and gold and green decorations, such a panoply of light and delicious scents everywhere.  The weather is expected to be dreary ...

I like to think that the seeds that we sow will grow and flower and in due course set seed themselves. It was thus last weekend; a young man, the son of one of my oldest and dearest friends, asked me to conduct the Naming Ceremony for his daughter. The family now live in New Zealand and so we seldom see them in England.  It was magical to be in an English country garden on a sunny afternoon in June with four generations of the same family enjoying a glass or two and a slice of delicious homemade cake while the newest member of the family, chewing meditatively on a dibber, was named. We added thumb prints to a fantasy tree to mark the occasion and a wonderful time was had by all.

www.thecountrycelebrant.co.uk Symbolism White Clover - thinking of you I recently attended my first Death Cafe; not a particularly inviting name, but a meeting of minds and a wonderfully uplifting experience. We talked about why we were there, what experience we had of death and what we wanted from the evening ... cake was high on the list!  More than anything it was the chance to talk about our experiences and our worries about death and bereavement. Death is the certainty; but what about the taboos and the awkwardness of dealing with death?  An elderly gentleman spoke movingly about his experiences of death in the old days.  He came from a close knit community where the dead were part of the fabric of everyday life. The deceased would be laid out in the front parlour and when there was a meal to be had at the table, moved underneath it.  The ladies of the community would come to your house and help you to prepare the body for burial. There was ...

The Country Celebrant and Carer:  Loss Here we go again, preparing to celebrate the family are gathering the presents are bought and wrapped. But under the tree and in my heart there is a hole so small and dark that only I can see it. Sometimes I lose myself for a moment and the hole is diminished but mainly it pulsates with pain and loss. I can smooth the edges with light and warmth I can fill the void with laughter but the cold creeps back and the laughter fades away. Where are you?  Are you safe and sound? Do you look at us from your eyrie? Can you hear our dreams and see our wishes? I would turn back the clock I would rekindle your fire that burnt so bright I would walk a thousand steps to see you again. To hear your words and see your smile to share a hug and be with you again would make my day complete. In the meantime, I will smile and nod and remember you in my heart and look for you in the shared memories that we have.