The Country Celebrant and The Country Carer

It has been a few months since I wrote a piece. I have been busy working on the Doula side of my business and it occurred to me that some of you might be interested to know a little more. Doula comes from the ancient Greek and translates as a handmaiden or servant - birth doulas are trained in supporting a woman through the birthing process.  End of life doulas, sometimes called soul midwives, are trained in supporting someone through the process of dying. Our training is not medical.  We are trained to support a family in the closing days of life, to be an advocate for the person who is dying and to be a shoulder to cry on; a gatekeeper and a friend. My experience of doula-ing is very practical; I will spend time with the dying person to allow the principal carer a break, my role can be to help them to mend fences, clear up loose ends and say goodbye.  I do this by listening to what they want, I encourage the important people to be there and keep the conflict and...

Currently I am supporting a lady as her life draws to a close.  My job is to reassure her through the night.  I arrive at 10 o'clock, she is courteous and appears pleased to see me.  We chat about how she is feeling and I share a few details of my life and what is happening in the world outside her room. I might read to her whilst she prepares to sleep.  Some nights we are up and down quite a bit, I doze on a blowup mattress beside her; it reminds me of sharing a room with a baby.  You relax to a point, but the changes in breathing somehow penetrate your somnambulant state. Last night was extremely peaceful, I find myself writing this journal as I sit beside her.  The room is bathed in the soft glow of a low light, a fan chunters away in the background, dawn is about to break and the day around us is starting. Before she went to sleep I massaged her shoulders and neck with a balm to soothe her pain and provide some warmth and the healing power of ...