The Country Celebrant and The Country Carer

I thought that some of you might be interested in my work as a Doula. I have worked with families for a very long time; I am a Mother to three wonderful and very nearly grown-up people and I have run a pre-school in Hampshire since forever. When my Father died I wanted to honour him by burying him on his farm.  I struggled to talk to him about his wishes right until the end; I did not have the courage to raise such a personal issue. As is so often the case, events overtook us ... he was terminally ill and had made it clear to the doctors that he wanted no further intervention.  He died in his own bed with those whom he loved carrying on as best they could around him. We buried him in a clearing on the farm.  The only people present were his immediate family, a very compassionate funeral director (who happened to be my son's rugby coach) and the dogs. I knew then that I needed to learn to do this job properly and by that I don't mean the formality of being a ce...

Today has been an extraordinary day.  I have never written or delivered a ceremony for an animal before.  I would not normally do so, not because I am anti pet ceremonies.  I am an animal lover and I fully appreciate the joy of owning an animal. Mabel was a border collie cross, she came into the life of her owner as an adult dog and they shared everything for some 15 years. Mabel's owner is a lady in her 60's who has been on her own since her parents died when she was in her middle age.  The lady is alone, she has additional needs; mainly anxiety but also profound loneliness and some autistic tendencies. Mabel was her rock, when things got bad she would press her body against the lady's leg and look up at her with that wonderful smile that collie dogs are so good at giving.  Mabel knew if she was the subject of the conversation; she would thump her tail on the floor and squirm with pleasure, joining in with all that was being discussed. For the last 15 y...

We are lucky in Hampshire.  We have access to several natural burial grounds.  The one that I use most frequently is at East Meon.  It is set on the chalk downlands above the market town of Petersfield and there are views away towards Chichester and to the sea at Portsmouth on a clear day. To conduct a burial here is an unhurried and peaceful affair.  There is a covered space with an open fireplace and a degree of shelter for use to honour the dead.  The staff are professional yet discreet and unlike at the Crematoria there is no sense of a production line and the need to speed through the farewell. Once the goodbyes have been said and the memories shared the bereaved are able to make their way slowly through the woodland to the burial plot.  The deceased is transported on a hand cart and they are laid to rest in a hand dug grave. Families are encouraged to walk their dogs and visit their loved ones privately - there are no grave stones and so in a r...