The Country Celebrant and The Country Carer

I was asked to write a piece outlining my role as a writer of ceremonies. I take inspiration from the countryside in which I work The first point I would like to make is that it requires training.  I learned during an intensive one to one week with my mentor at the U K Society of Celebrants.  There are other organisations that will train you too.  You never stop learning, each job brings it's own challenges and we are offered the chance to improve our skills regularly. The site of my Father's grave I trained in all aspects of celebrancy; this means that I can write and conduct a funeral, a memorial, a naming ceremony, a wedding, a renewal of vows and I have demonstrated my competence in all of the above. In addition to my training as a Celebrant I went on to train as an End of Life Doula.  The UK Society of Celebrants offers this training as well.  I find that it is a very useful adjunct to my celebrancy work in that it extends the service I am...

I thought that some of you might be interested in my work as a Doula. I have worked with families for a very long time; I am a Mother to three wonderful and very nearly grown-up people and I have run a pre-school in Hampshire since forever. When my Father died I wanted to honour him by burying him on his farm.  I struggled to talk to him about his wishes right until the end; I did not have the courage to raise such a personal issue. As is so often the case, events overtook us ... he was terminally ill and had made it clear to the doctors that he wanted no further intervention.  He died in his own bed with those whom he loved carrying on as best they could around him. We buried him in a clearing on the farm.  The only people present were his immediate family, a very compassionate funeral director (who happened to be my son's rugby coach) and the dogs. I knew then that I needed to learn to do this job properly and by that I don't mean the formality of being a ce...

Today has been an extraordinary day.  I have never written or delivered a ceremony for an animal before.  I would not normally do so, not because I am anti pet ceremonies.  I am an animal lover and I fully appreciate the joy of owning an animal. Mabel was a border collie cross, she came into the life of her owner as an adult dog and they shared everything for some 15 years. Mabel's owner is a lady in her 60's who has been on her own since her parents died when she was in her middle age.  The lady is alone, she has additional needs; mainly anxiety but also profound loneliness and some autistic tendencies. Mabel was her rock, when things got bad she would press her body against the lady's leg and look up at her with that wonderful smile that collie dogs are so good at giving.  Mabel knew if she was the subject of the conversation; she would thump her tail on the floor and squirm with pleasure, joining in with all that was being discussed. For the last 15 y...

www.thecountrycelebrant.co.uk Symbolism White Clover - thinking of you I recently attended my first Death Cafe; not a particularly inviting name, but a meeting of minds and a wonderfully uplifting experience. We talked about why we were there, what experience we had of death and what we wanted from the evening ... cake was high on the list!  More than anything it was the chance to talk about our experiences and our worries about death and bereavement. Death is the certainty; but what about the taboos and the awkwardness of dealing with death?  An elderly gentleman spoke movingly about his experiences of death in the old days.  He came from a close knit community where the dead were part of the fabric of everyday life. The deceased would be laid out in the front parlour and when there was a meal to be had at the table, moved underneath it.  The ladies of the community would come to your house and help you to prepare the body for burial. There was ...

The Country Celebrant: Memorials : I wrote this poem in memory of a dear friend and colleague who lost her battle with cancer a year ago.  I find writing hugely therapeutic and I hope that this poem might strike a cord with you. The Bench ~ by Cindy Groves  Today I'll sit and think of you Tomorrow I may do so too Today I'll hear your laugh again Tomorrow it will be the same If every day could be the last and all the times we had were past Then I would be so happy, free to know that you were close to me Around the corner, down the lane across the meadow, here again The bench would be our meeting spot to laugh and cry and share a lot A place to sit and share a smile to talk and listen, quiet a while A place to cry that you are gone but knowing you has made me strong I will remember and I'll sing about the times we did that thing The silly, mad and happy times the made up games and stupid rhymes The flowers, the paint, th...