The Country Celebrant and The Country Carer

The Country Celebrant: Memorials : I wrote this poem in memory of a dear friend and colleague who lost her battle with cancer a year ago.  I find writing hugely therapeutic and I hope that this poem might strike a cord with you. The Bench ~ by Cindy Groves  Today I'll sit and think of you Tomorrow I may do so too Today I'll hear your laugh again Tomorrow it will be the same If every day could be the last and all the times we had were past Then I would be so happy, free to know that you were close to me Around the corner, down the lane across the meadow, here again The bench would be our meeting spot to laugh and cry and share a lot A place to sit and share a smile to talk and listen, quiet a while A place to cry that you are gone but knowing you has made me strong I will remember and I'll sing about the times we did that thing The silly, mad and happy times the made up games and stupid rhymes The flowers, the paint, th...

The Country Celebrant: The Country Celebrant and Carer : The Country Celebrant and Carer:  Loss Here we go again, preparing to celebrate the family are gathering the presents are bought and w...

What is in a Name? It has been a marvellous summer in Hampshire.  We have had beautiful, balmy days and there have been some glorious Naming Ceremonies. I have been able to work with families who have had a new baby and wanted to create a truly personal celebration of the arrival of that joyous little bundle into their lives. I have also been immensely impressed by a young man who, at the age of 7, was able to join his Mother and Step-Father in a new family with a whole fresh start to his life.  The ceremony was pocket sized, very few honoured guests and although there was an underlying sadness of what had been lost; I thought that this young man made everyone feel very hopeful and positive for him and that is quite something for someone so young. I wrote this poem for a Mother and her Daughter in advance of her naming day.  Her celebration will be in the early New Year.  I can't wait to find out what she will be called. What is in a Name? I will look a...

I have been asked now, by a number of people, what a civil celebrant does that is different to a registrar or religious leader I  do not want to offend anyone by leaving religious belief at the door; I was married in Church, I am confirmed and my children were christened. I am also a realist and I am aware that the family dynamic is altering; that fewer people hold religious beliefs and that many ceremonies these days are secular. Every element of a celebrant ceremony is designed to show the participants their role in the joining together of two people so that there is recall and a sense of collective responsibility for the happiness of the couple; the security and future of the child or the cherished memory of the person who has died. Weddings Handfasting ribbons My ceremonies are personal – no two are the same; they are hand written and my aim is to distil the spirit of the couple that I am marrying and present it to them and their guests as the finest expressi...

Weddings with a Difference! Mothers of the Bride and Groom filling the sand frame as part of the ceremony. This summer has been joyous, it has been all about weddings and the celebration of union.  Families brought together by the joining of couples with hand-fastings, sand and candle ceremonies.  There have been many different types of wedding, some quite traditional and others very definitely not. The cast has been roughly the same; the happy couple - often with little children, some with dogs, a pony and a very badly behaved parrot!  Proud parents and grand-parents, emotional bridesmaids in a rainbow of colour, best-men and in one case a best-woman who have delivered speeches that are funny, poignant and blooming cheeky. There have been wonderful impromptu moments that you could not script.  Sunsets and rainbows, a downpour so loud that it stopped proceedings momentarily. I have loved every second of it all - it is a huge privilege to shar...

In the last year I have conducted all manner of funerals. There have been the timely deaths of beloved people where the ceremony has been one of quiet, or raucous, celebration of a life lived to the full and ended peacefully. There have been tragic deaths through suicide and illness, where the person has been snatched from those that love them in a way that is cruel and heartless.  A cold, bleak time when all you can do is hug the pain into some sort of temporary submission. There have been slow lingering departures where there has been time to prepare and say goodbye, to plan the ending and to tie up all the loose ends, so to speak. I have been in awe of the dignity and composure of both those leaving and those being left.  The stories that I have had the honour of retelling.  The poignant words written by children about their Grandparents. The gut twisting pain of listening to a husband talk of his wife and what she meant to him. The keepsakes that I ha...

The Country Celebrant and Carer:  Loss Here we go again, preparing to celebrate the family are gathering the presents are bought and wrapped. But under the tree and in my heart there is a hole so small and dark that only I can see it. Sometimes I lose myself for a moment and the hole is diminished but mainly it pulsates with pain and loss. I can smooth the edges with light and warmth I can fill the void with laughter but the cold creeps back and the laughter fades away. Where are you?  Are you safe and sound? Do you look at us from your eyrie? Can you hear our dreams and see our wishes? I would turn back the clock I would rekindle your fire that burnt so bright I would walk a thousand steps to see you again. To hear your words and see your smile to share a hug and be with you again would make my day complete. In the meantime, I will smile and nod and remember you in my heart and look for you in the shared memories that we have.