The Country Celebrant and The Country Carer

Weddings with a Difference! Mothers of the Bride and Groom filling the sand frame as part of the ceremony. This summer has been joyous, it has been all about weddings and the celebration of union.  Families brought together by the joining of couples with hand-fastings, sand and candle ceremonies.  There have been many different types of wedding, some quite traditional and others very definitely not. The cast has been roughly the same; the happy couple - often with little children, some with dogs, a pony and a very badly behaved parrot!  Proud parents and grand-parents, emotional bridesmaids in a rainbow of colour, best-men and in one case a best-woman who have delivered speeches that are funny, poignant and blooming cheeky. There have been wonderful impromptu moments that you could not script.  Sunsets and rainbows, a downpour so loud that it stopped proceedings momentarily. I have loved every second of it all - it is a huge privilege to shar...

In the last year I have conducted all manner of funerals. There have been the timely deaths of beloved people where the ceremony has been one of quiet, or raucous, celebration of a life lived to the full and ended peacefully. There have been tragic deaths through suicide and illness, where the person has been snatched from those that love them in a way that is cruel and heartless.  A cold, bleak time when all you can do is hug the pain into some sort of temporary submission. There have been slow lingering departures where there has been time to prepare and say goodbye, to plan the ending and to tie up all the loose ends, so to speak. I have been in awe of the dignity and composure of both those leaving and those being left.  The stories that I have had the honour of retelling.  The poignant words written by children about their Grandparents. The gut twisting pain of listening to a husband talk of his wife and what she meant to him. The keepsakes that I ha...

The Country Celebrant and Carer:  Loss Here we go again, preparing to celebrate the family are gathering the presents are bought and wrapped. But under the tree and in my heart there is a hole so small and dark that only I can see it. Sometimes I lose myself for a moment and the hole is diminished but mainly it pulsates with pain and loss. I can smooth the edges with light and warmth I can fill the void with laughter but the cold creeps back and the laughter fades away. Where are you?  Are you safe and sound? Do you look at us from your eyrie? Can you hear our dreams and see our wishes? I would turn back the clock I would rekindle your fire that burnt so bright I would walk a thousand steps to see you again. To hear your words and see your smile to share a hug and be with you again would make my day complete. In the meantime, I will smile and nod and remember you in my heart and look for you in the shared memories that we have.

The Country Celebrant  So here we are, the middle of January already; the United Kingdom has been buffeted by a series of storms that have swelled the rivers until they burst, leaving people with a deluge of mud and silt and detritus to clear away. We have lost icons of the stage and film and on a personal level we have, undoubtedly, lost people who mean the world to us; ordinary people who made no momentous contribution to the world but who shaped us by the very fact that we knew them. I was told the story of a cowman who taught a child to care for calves, to rear those orphaned, by hand - dipping her hand into a bucket of warm milk and allowing the calf to suck her fingers until it got the hang of how to drink.     I remember doing that as a child, I remember the rasp of the tongue on my fingers and the anticipation of a bite.  A calf does not bite, he does not have the teeth to do so. I am preparing for a new journey in my life; I have one son living on the ...

The Country Celebrant: Home : I thought that it would be nice to wish all my friends and supporters a very peaceful Christmas and very many good wishes for 2016. With very best wishes Cindy Groves The Country Celebrant

The Country Celebrant: Funerals :  It seems to me that striking the right note is the key to a good funeral.  It does not matter whether that is achieved by a piece of poetry, some music, the images that are displayed or the eulogy.  Whatever way you look at it, you have one chance to distil the essence of the person and if that key note is spot on, everything else falls into place. This year I have had the chance to work with a number of families - each one different, all united in their desire to provide a meaningful send off to someone that meant something to them.  Some have been poignant, like the brother who read the diary entry from his brother's last day at school.  Some have been tragic and the best, for me, was the one for the sister who genuinely believed that no one would attend her brother's funeral; we had standing room only and luckily it was quite chilly, or we would have had it rather warm! I always take a posy of flowers from my garden ...

Beautiful Gift Reasons to be cheerful! It is a great privilege to be involved with people, helping them to steer their way through the joyous and the not so joyous events that pepper life. I am a civil celebrant, I am also a pre school teacher.  In my life I meet all sorts of people and the underlying common denominator is that we all need to be supported through life.  Whether you are confident, happy and full of enthusiasm or not ... a hand on your shoulder, a smile or a comforting voice at the other end of the phone is always welcome. Since becoming a celebrant I have formed friendships with people who I value and whose jobs and expertise are unfamiliar but who have been welcoming and informative.  People who have shared their knowledge and their experience openly and without agenda. One such friend is Julia Hill of Silverlode Celebrants.  We have never met but we do the same job and we share quotes and thoughts and support each other.  This morni...