The Country Celebrant: Funerals:
It seems to me that striking the right note is the key to a good funeral. It does not matter whether that is achieved by a piece of poetry, some music, the images that are displayed or the eulogy. Whatever way you look at it, you have one chance to distil the essence of the person and if that key note is spot on, everything else falls into place.
This year I have had the chance to work with a number of families - each one different, all united in their desire to provide a meaningful send off to someone that meant something to them. Some have been poignant, like the brother who read the diary entry from his brother's last day at school. Some have been tragic and the best, for me, was the one for the sister who genuinely believed that no one would attend her brother's funeral; we had standing room only and luckily it was quite chilly, or we would have had it rather warm!
I always take a posy of flowers from my garden to place on the coffin at my funerals. I try to pick flowers that have some significance - this rose was for a lovely lady taken too early in life, her family were bereft and her friends clung together in their sadness. The colour and the scent reminded me of her and as I looked around me I could see splashes of pink on all the mourners; I hope that it helped to cheer proceedings.
It is easy to find something bright and hopeful in the garden in the summer, but as the winter draws in and the rain teems down I look outside and can see very little to alleviate the drear.
I am inclined to look for holly berries and pine cones - but that seems too redolent of Christmas and I am aware of the profound sadness of losing someone that you love close to what should be a festive and joyful, family time of year.
My own Father died in the Autumn and some very close family friends made a wonderful display for his coffin, a mixture of country flowers, seed heads and pheasant feathers. I love the simple honesty of their design, Father was a farmer and a country man and he would have appreciated the components of his flowers; particularly the wild oats, but there is another story!!
I am writing a funeral at the moment for a gentleman who worked in the Far East for most of his life. The anecdotes are out of this world; he belonged to a different time and a set of values and modes that are so touching in their chivalry, that I feel that it would have been a real honour to have known him. There is a gentle humour in the stories that I have been told and I know that I have only just scratched the surface of the character of the man.
I am searching for that drop of scent, I think in a piece of poetry, but possibly prose that will give me the key note for the funeral and it is the very best part of what I do as a celebrant. I do not mean that I am a master of it, far from it; it is the most satisfying part of writing a funeral and the most frustrating all in one go.
www.thecountrycelebrant.co.uk
It seems to me that striking the right note is the key to a good funeral. It does not matter whether that is achieved by a piece of poetry, some music, the images that are displayed or the eulogy. Whatever way you look at it, you have one chance to distil the essence of the person and if that key note is spot on, everything else falls into place.
This year I have had the chance to work with a number of families - each one different, all united in their desire to provide a meaningful send off to someone that meant something to them. Some have been poignant, like the brother who read the diary entry from his brother's last day at school. Some have been tragic and the best, for me, was the one for the sister who genuinely believed that no one would attend her brother's funeral; we had standing room only and luckily it was quite chilly, or we would have had it rather warm!
It is easy to find something bright and hopeful in the garden in the summer, but as the winter draws in and the rain teems down I look outside and can see very little to alleviate the drear.
I am inclined to look for holly berries and pine cones - but that seems too redolent of Christmas and I am aware of the profound sadness of losing someone that you love close to what should be a festive and joyful, family time of year.
My own Father died in the Autumn and some very close family friends made a wonderful display for his coffin, a mixture of country flowers, seed heads and pheasant feathers. I love the simple honesty of their design, Father was a farmer and a country man and he would have appreciated the components of his flowers; particularly the wild oats, but there is another story!!
I am writing a funeral at the moment for a gentleman who worked in the Far East for most of his life. The anecdotes are out of this world; he belonged to a different time and a set of values and modes that are so touching in their chivalry, that I feel that it would have been a real honour to have known him. There is a gentle humour in the stories that I have been told and I know that I have only just scratched the surface of the character of the man.
I am searching for that drop of scent, I think in a piece of poetry, but possibly prose that will give me the key note for the funeral and it is the very best part of what I do as a celebrant. I do not mean that I am a master of it, far from it; it is the most satisfying part of writing a funeral and the most frustrating all in one go.
www.thecountrycelebrant.co.uk
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