Difficult times | You are not alone

These are unprecedented times, how can we help one another?

Life throws us curved balls all the time. How we deal with those is what makes us who we are.

Just imagine that someone you love dearly is dying; under normal circumstances there would be a steady stream of visitors calling to pay their last respects, kindly neighbours with a tin of something, cards, phone calls and flowers.

Then imagine what it would be like to deal with that alone, there are still the phone calls but the human contact is at a distance, remote and frustrating. Frustrating from both sides ... underlying guilt, real sadness and unbelievably lonely.

I cannot visit you any more than your wider family and community can, but I can talk to you via Zoom or Messenger, I am not the same as your family but you don't have to be brave and stoical with me.

I trained as an end of life Doula to support both the dying and their immediate family. If you need support and I can help you, let me know.

Cindy x

07887 810 916

Comments

Respect for the Bereaved

In the last year I have conducted all manner of funerals. There have been the timely deaths of beloved people where the ceremony has been one of quiet, or raucous, celebration of a life lived to the full and ended peacefully. There have been tragic deaths through suicide and illness, where the person has been snatched from those that love them in a way that is cruel and heartless. A cold, bleak time when all you can do is hug the pain into some sort of temporary submission. There have been slow lingering departures where there has been time to prepare and say goodbye, to plan the ending and to tie up all the loose ends, so to speak. I have been in awe of the dignity and composure of both those leaving and those being left. The stories that I have had the honour of retelling. The poignant words written by children about their Grandparents. The gut twisting pain of listening to a husband talk of his wife and what she meant to him. The keepsakes that I ha...

The Country Celebrant and Carer

The Country Celebrant and Carer: Loss Here we go again, preparing to celebrate the family are gathering the presents are bought and wrapped. But under the tree and in my heart there is a hole so small and dark that only I can see it. Sometimes I lose myself for a moment and the hole is diminished but mainly it pulsates with pain and loss. I can smooth the edges with light and warmth I can fill the void with laughter but the cold creeps back and the laughter fades away. Where are you? Are you safe and sound? Do you look at us from your eyrie? Can you hear our dreams and see our wishes? I would turn back the clock I would rekindle your fire that burnt so bright I would walk a thousand steps to see you again. To hear your words and see your smile to share a hug and be with you again would make my day complete. In the meantime, I will smile and nod and remember you in my heart and look for you in the shared memories that we have.

Confessions of a Doula's Dog | Compassion | Country Walks

I thought that some of you might be interested in my work as a Doula. I have worked with families for a very long time; I am a Mother to three wonderful and very nearly grown-up people and I have run a pre-school in Hampshire since forever. When my Father died I wanted to honour him by burying him on his farm. I struggled to talk to him about his wishes right until the end; I did not have the courage to raise such a personal issue. As is so often the case, events overtook us ... he was terminally ill and had made it clear to the doctors that he wanted no further intervention. He died in his own bed with those whom he loved carrying on as best they could around him. We buried him in a clearing on the farm. The only people present were his immediate family, a very compassionate funeral director (who happened to be my son's rugby coach) and the dogs. I knew then that I needed to learn to do this job properly and by that I don't mean the formality of being a ce...

The Country Celebrant and The Country Carer

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