Difficult times | You are not alone

These are unprecedented times, how can we help one another?

Life throws us curved balls all the time. How we deal with those is what makes us who we are.

Just imagine that someone you love dearly is dying; under normal circumstances there would be a steady stream of visitors calling to pay their last respects, kindly neighbours with a tin of something, cards, phone calls and flowers.

Then imagine what it would be like to deal with that alone, there are still the phone calls but the human contact is at a distance, remote and frustrating. Frustrating from both sides ... underlying guilt, real sadness and unbelievably lonely.

I cannot visit you any more than your wider family and community can, but I can talk to you via Zoom or Messenger, I am not the same as your family but you don't have to be brave and stoical with me.

I trained as an end of life Doula to support both the dying and their immediate family. If you need support and I can help you, let me know.

Cindy x

07887 810 916

Comments

Respect for the Bereaved

In the last year I have conducted all manner of funerals. There have been the timely deaths of beloved people where the ceremony has been one of quiet, or raucous, celebration of a life lived to the full and ended peacefully. There have been tragic deaths through suicide and illness, where the person has been snatched from those that love them in a way that is cruel and heartless. A cold, bleak time when all you can do is hug the pain into some sort of temporary submission. There have been slow lingering departures where there has been time to prepare and say goodbye, to plan the ending and to tie up all the loose ends, so to speak. I have been in awe of the dignity and composure of both those leaving and those being left. The stories that I have had the honour of retelling. The poignant words written by children about their Grandparents. The gut twisting pain of listening to a husband talk of his wife and what she meant to him. The keepsakes that I have had pressed

The Country Celebrant and Carer

The Country Celebrant and Carer: Loss Here we go again, preparing to celebrate the family are gathering the presents are bought and wrapped. But under the tree and in my heart there is a hole so small and dark that only I can see it. Sometimes I lose myself for a moment and the hole is diminished but mainly it pulsates with pain and loss. I can smooth the edges with light and warmth I can fill the void with laughter but the cold creeps back and the laughter fades away. Where are you? Are you safe and sound? Do you look at us from your eyrie? Can you hear our dreams and see our wishes? I would turn back the clock I would rekindle your fire that burnt so bright I would walk a thousand steps to see you again. To hear your words and see your smile to share a hug and be with you again would make my day complete. In the meantime, I will smile and nod and remember you in my heart and look for you in the shared memories that we have.

Naming Ceremonies

What is in a Name? It has been a marvellous summer in Hampshire. We have had beautiful, balmy days and there have been some glorious Naming Ceremonies. I have been able to work with families who have had a new baby and wanted to create a truly personal celebration of the arrival of that joyous little bundle into their lives. I have also been immensely impressed by a young man who, at the age of 7, was able to join his Mother and Step-Father in a new family with a whole fresh start to his life. The ceremony was pocket sized, very few honoured guests and although there was an underlying sadness of what had been lost; I thought that this young man made everyone feel very hopeful and positive for him and that is quite something for someone so young. I wrote this poem for a Mother and her Daughter in advance of her naming day. Her celebration will be in the early New Year. I can't wait to find out what she will be called. What is in a Name? I will look at you and our e

The Country Celebrant and The Country Carer

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